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A Major Life Decision

March 31, 2021

I flew out of RSW airport in Fort Myers, FL at 11am, heading to Ohio for my sister’s funeral.

On the plane, I kept thinking it isn’t real. We all know we are facing death at the end of our lives but when it happens to someone you love, it’s so hard to accept and face it.

I’m getting older and have resigned to the fact that I now have to use a wheelchair to get to and from the gates in the airport, along with other things I can no longer do. It was embarrassing the first time but until I lose more of this weight, I’ll have to use the services of a wheelchair in an airport.

My sister and my niece picked me up at the airport in Columbus, Ohio. Took forever to get my luggage. Lots of tears and hugs for the reason why I was there. Stopped to eat on the way home.

April 1, 2021

My other sister and I took food out to my sister’s house that passed away. She has children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren coming in for her funeral. It was so very sad to be in her house without her and knowing that I will not hear that beautiful laugh of hers. I still hear her laughter in my heart, and I guess I always will.

April 2, 2021

The day we have all been dreading, Connie’s funeral. I was so not wanting to do this.

We walked in with the sounds of Elvis coming softly through the speakers (one of her favorite singers) and I took one look at her in that silver box in the next room and I could not hold back the tears any longer.

So many family members, coming from all over that I haven’t seen in years – coming together for a funeral.  For years, my mother was the glue that held our family together. She made sure there was a family reunion planned every summer.  Some came, some didn’t. My sisters and I (the two I have left) decided we are going to try and have some sort of get together so a time like this is not the only time we connect with family.

My two cousins talked about how they hated funerals. I guess I hadn’t really thought of it like they did. I looked around the room and just as my cousins described, groups of my family gathered in different areas.  They were laughing, talking and crying but it almost seemed like it was some sort of party – save my sister lying in a silver box and the last time I’ll see her.

This caused me to make a decision that I had been putting off. I do not want this when my time comes. I don’t want my daughter and grandchildren to go through this. I’ll tell my daughter to save the money, have me cremated and put together with my husband’s ashes and from then on, it’s up to her what she does with us. I wouldn’t mind a “Celebration of Life” get together but leave our ashes at home.

We went to the cemetery where many of my family members are already at rest. My sister was laid beside her husband, the love of her life. She’s gone to be with God, her husband, Mom and Dad.  She’s in no pain any longer. We are the ones in pain when we lose someone we love.

While there, I visited my mother’s grave and asked her to watch over my sister in her journey. The church where my sister attended hosted the funeral reception which is a time set aside for family members and close friends of the deceased to come together in honor of the decedent, typically with food, and without the formal structure of the funeral service.

You may be reading this and thinking I’m a little off by talking with my mom and even my sister, but we believe there is a Heaven to go to when we live our lives for Christ our Savior.

The last request my sister had for her immediate family, she said, “I want to see ALL of you in Heaven.”

April 2, 2021 was such a long day; 10am to around 7:30pm. Mourning and crying is exhausting.

April 3, 2021

My sister’s funeral was yesterday. I must mention since my sister was a “Child of God” that her funeral was on Good Friday, the day Jesus was crucified and laid to rest in the tomb. Jesus rose again on the third day. For a split second, I wondered and hoped she would rise on the third day.  I knew that wouldn’t happen, but it was a thought.

April 4, 2021

Easter Sunday we watched church services on TV and had dinner at my niece’s house.

April 5, 2021

So now we come to the whole reason for my writing all of this. In December of 2019, I considered moving back to Ohio where I was born. We moved to Florida in 1966 and Florida is really all I’ve ever known. I went to school here. I married for the first and second time here. I had my daughter here in Fort Myers and she had my two grandchildren here. My whole life has been in Fort Myers, Florida.  I barely remember living in Ohio. It was just a place we visited in the summer.

As I mentioned, I did consider moving back to Ohio but once I returned to Florida in January of 2020, I decided to stay in Florida.

Losing my sister on March 28, 2021 changed my way of thinking in so many ways. I needed family to get through the pain of my sister’s passing. Other than summers, I really didn’t know how important family is and how much I had missed them. I only wish I had made this decision earlier before Connie passed away. I did spend that month with all three of my sisters in December of 2019, so I do have that to remember.

Many have asked me if I really want to move this time as I really don’t like cold weather or snow but this time when I was asked the question. “Are you sure you want to make this move?”  Without hesitation, I said “Yes.”  I want and need my family. My second husband has passed away, my daughter has moved to another state and my grandkids will be living close to their mom and my friends have their own lives and families around them.  I want that for myself.  Connie and I were the babies of the family, so now it’s just me being the baby sister.

April 6, 2021

My niece took me around to the different apartment complexes so I could fill out applications.  I’m “on the list” for four apartments. So when I’m back home in Florida, I’ll start to pack and await my phone call that tells me there is an apartment available for me to move to.

This is a major decision in my life. I’m both happy and looking forward to it but I’m also a little bit scared of what lies ahead for me. I’ve turned it over to God and I know that He will make a way for the best place to become available for me.

April 7 through April 28, 2021

I spent the next month with family there for me every day. I stayed the first half of the month with one sister and the second half with my other sister. There was lots of crying, hugging, talking, and plans being made for when I do get moved.

My sister was extremely outgoing and a well thought of person in our hometown, as was her husband who passed about six years before her. Their house was the “house to go to” for many, many years.  She ran a daycare business and had a hand in raising almost every child in town. They loved to play games and she taught me one of her favorites when I was there in December 2019. 

The game she loved most and last was Mexican Train Dominoes  We played that over the month of April. We missed Connie dearly and she should have been there to play the game with us, but she was with us in spirit.

My sister was also a writer. Her children found her 3-ring binder that was full of her poems she wrote. I tried reading them, but the tears became too much. I asked for copies of the poems when they get a chance and little by little, I will read them all.

I spent time with Connie’s children, grandchildren and great grandchildren a while before I came back to Florida.  Some of them I hadn’t seen in maybe 15 or 20 years. Just not right to be away from family that long.

I have some dear friends I’ll be leaving in Florida but I know this is the right thing for me to do. I’m retired now, so I can visit Florida again pretty much any time I want to.

I am a borderline “hoarder” so it’s going to be rough for me to part with things I just can’t take with me. I don’t really understand why I feel the overwhelming need to keep things like I do. Sometimes I think it’s because things I’ve loved in the past have left me alone and I can control the “material things that I keep, toss out or sell.”

My niece shared this on Facebook today and I wanted to share it with you.

I Heard Your Voice In The Wind Today

There are so many things I need to take care of to move to Ohio. It seems overwhelming at times.

I’m still writing this piece and now wondering if anyone will even be interested in reading it. I guess it doesn’t matter and will only matter to my true friends.

I hope and pray that I get that phone call before it turns winter in Ohio again. I have never driven in snow and ice and at my age, I don’t plan on learning that skill.  I’m a homebody, so basically I’ll be hibernating during the winter months. Not much different from here in Florida (staying in because its too hot).

Okay, so this is my big news and I welcome any suggestions you have, to make this moving process easier. 

I’ll be starting my Simply Fabulous 5 Dollar Jewelry (Paparazzi jewelry) shows again very soon and I plan on doing them once I’m moved and settled.

I have some other things in mind but as always, I tend to pile too many things on myself and I get stressed out. So, I won’t mention those right now but will when and if they are a reality.

Remember say “I Love You” to those you love. We never know when will be the last time we get a chance to say those three words.

God Called Your Name
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I'm a "Child of God "🙏 Independent Consultant of Paparazzi 💎 Author 📕 Hobbies ⌨🖍✂ Love Roses 🌹

4 thoughts on “A Major Life Decision

  1. This is so beautiful, Monna. I am very sorry for your loss. I know she will be missed dearly.

    Once we get older, we start to put things into perspective. Needing family and close friends are necessary in my life too. I’d like to be cremated too. I don’t wish to put my friends and family through more unnecessary grief. Put me with my dogs ashes and toss to the ocean.

    I’m excited for your move and look forward to reading more about your new journey AND more Pop shows!

    Glad to see you back! We love you! Xo


    1. Thank you so much Brenda. I didn’t want to leave but I have to take care of things here first. Yea, this getting older “ain’t what we expected.” I’m happy to be back and love you too. ❤


  2. I’m happy for you! I will help you in any way I can. I love to decorate so can’t wait for you to get here and the one place is only 1&1/2 blocks from me. Moving to a new place is always hard, we moved a lot when my ex was in the military, I enjoyed moving different places but I understand when you get older it isn’t as easy but you do have family here and we will all help you get through it. Loved spending time with you when you were here. ❤️ Love you
    Your niece Nalynn


    1. Nalynn, you are always a sweetheart. I fully intend to impose on your decorating skills for my new place. I also loved the time spent with you and looking forward to being there full time. 1-1/2 blocks away is awesome. Now I’ll need to learn my way around in Washington Court House. Love you too ❤


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